Retiring from Ironman

Somewhere along the line, I made it a goal of mine to complete four Ironman distance events. This would allow me to give each of my four children a finisher's medal. However, the reality is...I'm sure I care way more about each of them having a medal in their hands than they do. In fact, I doubt they really care if they have one at all. All they care about is that I'm out there doing what I want to do. So, who is this goal for then, me or them?
After the completion of Ironman Wisconsin in 2007, I said, "I don't think I need to do one of those again."
On the bridge across the Ohio, on the way back to the hotel, after finishing Ironman Louisville in 2009, I said, "Well, I can't do that event ever again, because the weather will never be as nice as it was today."
Now I'm composing a post for my blog which follows my progress toward Ironman Louisville 2011.
So, does this make me a liar, a stupid person, or simply someone who suffers from some kind of endurance addiction who is seeking yet another fix?
It's odd because I know the Ironman isn't really good for me. I know I am best suited for events under the half Ironman distance, but my favorite distance is the half Ironman, and still here I am, again with my sights set on another Ironman 140.6. Now, I don't consider myself a stupid person, but apparently stupid is what stupid does, and it will be even stupider when I'm having this conversation again in 2013. I'm just sayin'.
It is said, "If doing an Ironman was easy, everyone would be doing it." 
This should be fair warning. It should be apparent that Ironman kicks your a**. It should tell me that this is not for normal people, and still I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame...or perhaps more appropriately a bug zapper!
I finished my long ride the other day needing an I.V., but I settled for slowly hydrating and staring at the ceiling for a few hours. I took the next day off because I was still spent. Keep in mind, this is not my job, nobody is forcing me to do this, my family won't be in harms way if I stop, but I simply do this because I love it. I admit it, I am one sick mother!
I love Ironman. I love that I can cover 2.4 miles, followed by 112 miles, rounded out with 26.2 miles, in three different forms of locomotion, where the only power of movement forward is my own. I love that I can tell myself that I am an Ironman. I love that I am part of the triathlon community that has decided that joy and a certain amount of pride...and acceptable insanity can be found in 140.6 miles. I love Ironman, but it kicks my a**. It seems I am in an abusive relationship. I could go to therapy, but what's the point? I'm in love with my abuser.
Any rational person would see that I should stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and lakes that I'm used to (Thank you TLC for your lyrics). Any rational person would also logically conclude that I should retire from the Ironman distance. Seeing that I consider myself a rational person who can come to logical conclusions, I've made a decision:  This will be my last Ironman...
...until I forget how frickin' hard it is and register again.

In 24 days, I will literally be traveling the Road to Ironman Louisville.