Real Joy, Genuine Hope, and Serious Posibility

I just deleted a page worth of text outlining what I did today. It noted the tasks I completed and told about how I'm basically packed and ready to go. Then I realized, nobody cares. Not that anyone cares about all this other stuff I've been posting, but I'm just sayin'. 

I had a moment today that was different than any other moment in my day. It was a moment I wasn't necessarily going to blog about, but it was still something I thought I shouldn't keep to myself. It was a moment that seemed more spiritual than intellectual, yet it all took place within my head.

When I was mowing the lawn, a thought came to me. This wasn't just a thought, because it came as a packaged deal with real emotion. It went something like this:

"You are going to be able to run part of the marathon at Louisville." 

I felt joy. Not joy as if I thought that would be nice, but joy as if I was just given the green light, the o.k., or permission to give it a shot. I remember smiling at this point and then a vision came that looked like this:

I was in the marathon portion of the run. I had half the run ahead of me, but I started running. I ran a mile, then walked a mile. I ran a mile, then I walked a mile. I was making up time, I was passing people, and I was feeling good while a smiled, high-fived volunteers, and...ran. 

The vision shifted to this:

I turned the corner and saw the finish line. I was running...slowly, but running just the same. There was loud music, the crowd on hand lined the street, and I was getting closer to pay dirt, and Mike Riley was saying, "Sam Wilkinson...You are an Ironman!"

I felt joy again. I felt hope. I felt like these thoughts, and these visions were true signs of things to come. I smiled again.

Then I started to talk myself out of this reality. I don't know why, but a voice said, "Really? Can this be true? Can I do this? Can I run?"

The reply I got was, "Hey, you were patient, you showed you are willing to walk the entire marathon. You demonstrated perseverance under duress...and now...now you may run."

I smiled on the inside this time. A story from the bible came to mind. I thought of Abraham about to sacrifice his son Issac, and then God stopping him, and telling him it was a test of his faith. Was this as test of faith? 

I continued to try to ignore the negativity sneaking into my head, but it carried on by saying, "Well, this won't happen until you have at least 6 miles to go." It went on to say, "Well, maybe even with just two miles to go. Most likely just down the finish shoot, but c'mon, for half the marathon?" 

At this point my joy lost a bit of its luster. I began retreating to what I figured, in that moment, my reality would inevitably be. 

However, I haven't lost sight of the fact that I felt real joy, genuine hope, and serious possibility, and it was...and like it still is within my grasp.

I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm willing to keep an open mind. In three days I'll find out.

Tomorrow I'll be putting the van in 'drive' and I will be continuing the metaphor, but I will be traveling the actual Road to Ironman Louisville, and it is full of possibility.

Peace.